| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
Photo shoots. Makeup. Review of last night. All of this with Adele blaring in the background. Thankfully, none of the Idols took her songs on yet again during the Britpop section of our previous show. Judges: Steven Tyler looks like he took the body paint from the video shoot of “Give It Away” and applied it to his jacket and pants. JLo stole the matching top from Steven’s ensemble, and Randy is wearing a black leather coat over black scuba gear, and he has that stupid “YO” pin back on the jacket. Tonight: Carrie Underwood (It’s been seven years? Really?) and Coldplay, who will do two songs from their most recent album, Mylo Xyloto Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto. Top 5 on the couches, and Seacrest swings right into results? First up in Joshua. Jimmy proclaims that last night will be tough to beat for him, and that Joshua “ripped the ceiling open” on “To Love Somebody.” He asks rhetorically if we understand how hard that was, and compares it to “Randy Jackson winning the Kentucky Derby.” Josh has some sort of odd Star Trek long-sleeved T-shirt on, and he’s safe, which shocks absolutely no one. The Vehicular Video is “Dream Life”, and is more forgettable than most. A gold door leads the Idols into fairy tales and stories. It’s Alice in Wonderland meets Willy Wonka with a dash of drug usage. I keep hoping a dragon will show up and obliterate Jessica in a ball of flames, but alas, it was all a dream. Coldplay…I used to like this band. Full disclosure: I have used “Clocks” and “Talk” as ringtones at different points over the last few years. Graffiti spattered set and piano (reminds me of Fat Albert for some reason). Even this band has reached a saturation point with the overuse of falsetto. “Paradise” doesn’t sound like this in any scene I’ve ever imagined. It’s almost as if PP were singing the Zombies again. Time to step it up, Apple’s dad. Back to the couches. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a Taco Bell spork. Hollie and PP come to the stage. Iovine says Hollie pulled off her first song, and the second was “competent, but not magical.” Still, he thinks she should be safe. PhilPhil still is ailing, and did two really bland songs. He should be bottom two, but probably won’t be. Ryan takes his gum? DNA testing will reveal that Dave Matthews…you ARE the father! And, as usual, Hollie is in danger. Carrie Underwood is surrounded by clouds, and all in white. A song about angels? Not quite. “Blown Away” is a tale of bad memories, an abusive alcoholic father, and a shack that stands in the way of an oncoming tornado. It’s part Pat Benetar, and part Martina McBride. It doesn’t exactly blow me away, but wind on stage combined with the slit in her dress threatens to blow her skirt away. I think I liked her better before the record companies sunk in their claws. More results: Skylar and Jessica. Skylar is dressed like Peter Paul Jimmy Joe Bob Pan. Jimmy calls her a fighter, but notes she didn’t understand the protest lyrics in “Fortunate Son.” He calls the Dusty Springfield song “strange”, but still doesn’t think she should go home. He loved Jessica’s second song, but lambasts her for “Proud Mary.” It was a “travesty”, the dress was too mature for family TV, too racy, and she “lost the plot.” This is why I want to dump JLo and replace her with Jimmy – he gets it. JLo throws “middle America” under the bus, and says basically that we’re a bunch of hicks who don’t understand these fancy Hollywood ways. Doesn’t matter – Jessica is safe, and Skylar joins her roommate. After the break, JLo is in the audience with Ryan, then Jimmy. She can’t ad lib to save her life, and sometimes I think Idol likes making her look bad. (As if she needs the help.) More Coldplay – “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall.” Mr. Paltrow should have been a baseball player – he has one hand near his crotch at all times. This song can’t decide if it should be a U2, Police, or Radiohead song. Confetti everywhere. Mike O’Malley (Yes Dear, Curt’s dad) on guitar. By far their weakest single, off of their worst album. Ryan calls Hollie and Skylar out. All of the judges call this the best Top Five in the show’s history. Hmmm…nah, I’m too lazy to research this. Almost 60 million votes. And Skylar is leaving. Shocker? Not really. At this point, favorites start to drop, and the judgery is still pushing for the JJ finale, which would be the most boring since the two Davids. Steven Tyler can be seen mouthing the words, “this is so wrong.” I’m surprised he spoke at all – it tends to crack the paint on his face. Hollie has dodged more bullets than Clint Eastwood in all of his movies combined. Skylar sings “Gunpowder and Lead” once more, and it makes me wonder if she’s going to get her shotgun, come back here, and start blasting. Please aim at JLo…but don’t hit her in the head. There’s nothing there.
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
americanidol
exhausted
amused
hopeful
